Questions About Marriage and Couples Counseling in Calabasas – Answered
By Susan Cole Rome, LMFT | 6 min read
Building Stronger Relationships Through Insight and Guidance
Every couple faces challenges. Even in relationships grounded in love, communication breakdowns, stress, and emotional distance can develop quietly over time. Marriage and couples counseling help partners strengthen their connection, understand one another more deeply, and build tools for long-term relationship health.
As a licensed therapist practicing in Calabasas, I often hear similar questions from couples who are curious or hesitant about beginning therapy. Below, I’ve answered some of the most common ones – blending professional insight with practical understanding.
Is it Normal for Married Couples to Go to Counseling?
Yes – absolutely. In fact, it’s one of the healthiest things a couple can do.
Counseling is not a sign of failure; it’s a proactive investment in the relationship. Many couples use therapy to improve communication, repair small cracks before they grow, or simply deepen emotional connection.
Therapy creates a safe space where both partners can express needs and concerns without fear of judgment. Under professional guidance, couples learn new ways to listen, respond, and support each other.
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Is Marriage Counseling the Same as Couples Counseling?
They’re closely related, but not identical.
- Marriage counseling usually focuses on issues specific to married partners – such as commitment, finances, family planning, or infidelity.
- Couples counseling applies to any committed relationship and often emphasizes communication, emotional patterns, and conflict resolution.
In practice, both help couples reconnect, rebuild trust, and rediscover their shared goals.
What’s the Difference Between Couples Therapy and Couples Counseling?
While the terms are often used interchangeably, therapy typically implies a deeper psychological focus.
- Couples therapy explores emotional wounds, attachment patterns, and underlying behaviors that influence the relationship.
- Couples counseling tends to center on improving communication and providing practical tools.
Both are highly effective and can be tailored to the couple’s unique needs. The key is finding a therapist who understands both emotional depth and practical application.
What Type of Therapist is Best for Marriage Counseling?
The most qualified professionals for marriage work are Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs).
LMFTs are trained specifically in relationship dynamics, family systems, and emotional communication. They understand how early experiences and personal histories affect adult relationships.
When choosing a therapist, look for:
- Licensing in Marriage and Family Therapy (LMFT)
- Experience with couples’ issues similar to yours
- Compatibility – feeling safe and understood in the therapist’s presence
What is the Most Effective Form of Couples Therapy?
Research shows that Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method consistently produce lasting improvements in relationship satisfaction.
- EFT is grounded in attachment theory. It helps partners understand emotional triggers and build secure, connected bonds.
- The Gottman Method, developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, uses decades of research to teach practical communication skills, emotional regulation, and conflict management.
Both approaches help couples not only resolve issues but also strengthen their emotional foundation.
When Should We Start Seeing a Marriage Counselor?
The best time to start therapy is before patterns of disconnection become deeply entrenched.
Common signs that therapy could help include:
- Ongoing arguments or communication breakdowns
- Emotional distance or lack of intimacy
- Recurring resentment or misunderstanding
- Major life transitions (career changes, parenting, relocation)
- Feeling stuck or unheard in the relationship
Early intervention prevents small fractures from becoming long-term divides.
How Do We Choose the Right Marriage Counselor?
Finding the right fit matters as much as finding the right credentials.
Steps to consider:
- Research – Seek therapists with specialized training in marriage and family systems.
- Verify Credentials – Confirm active licensure and professional standing.
- Compatibility – The therapeutic relationship should feel safe, balanced, and nonjudgmental.
- Referrals or Reviews – Client feedback can offer valuable insight into approach and effectiveness.
If possible, schedule an initial consultation to see if the therapist’s communication style aligns with both partners’ comfort levels.
Understanding Popular Couples Therapy Methods
The Gottman Method: Focuses on reducing negative interactions, increasing empathy, and strengthening emotional connection through structured exercises.
PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy): Emphasizes body awareness, attachment patterns, and nonverbal communication to help couples attune more deeply.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Aims to rebuild secure attachment by identifying emotional cycles and transforming conflict into closeness.
Each of these models is evidence-based and can be tailored to the couple’s needs and personality dynamics.
Common Terms and Psychological Concepts
The 5:1 Rule: For every negative interaction, a healthy relationship needs at least five positive ones to maintain stability.
The 2-2-2 Rule: Go on a date every 2 weeks, spend a weekend away every 2 months, and take a week-long vacation every 2 years. Consistency nurtures connection.
Stonewalling: Shutting down or withdrawing during conflict. This creates emotional distance and prevents resolution. Recognizing and addressing it early restores communication.
The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. According to John Gottman, these behaviors are key predictors of relationship breakdown if left unchecked.
Flooding: When emotional overwhelm prevents rational conversation, often triggered by intense conflict. Recognizing flooding and taking breaks is crucial to recovery.
How Can Couples Reconnect Romantically?
Reconnection starts with intention, not perfection.
Try incorporating small but meaningful habits:
- Schedule dedicated time together free of digital distractions.
- Practice daily appreciation – express gratitude for one thing your partner did that day.
- Engage in new activities or revisit shared interests.
- Use physical touch – holding hands, hugs, and small gestures reinforce safety and connection.
- Create a weekly “relationship check-in” to discuss feelings without judgment.
These micro-moments build emotional safety and reignite intimacy over time.
Final Thoughts
Marriage and couples counseling are not just about crisis management – they’re about emotional maintenance. In Calabasas, where fast-paced lives and professional pressures can pull couples apart, therapy offers a space to reconnect, reflect, and grow together.
Whether you are seeking communication tools, emotional healing, or renewed intimacy, the right therapeutic approach can transform your relationship.
If you and your partner are ready to rebuild connection and strengthen your bond, schedule a private consultation today. The first step toward healing is simply reaching out.
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Title Tag: Marriage and Couples Counseling in Calabasas – FAQs | Susan Cole Rome, LMFT
Meta Description: Learn everything you need to know about marriage and couples counseling in Calabasas. LMFT Susan Cole Rome answers common questions about therapy, communication, and reconnection.
Keywords: marriage counseling Calabasas, couples therapy Calabasas, LMFT Calabasas, relationship counseling, Gottman Method therapist